These are poems that I write to release the emotions and pains in my life so this is just going to keep growing haha!
These are not meant to be professional poems or good in any way, just a release for me I want to share in case it inspires you.
Black Sheep
“This was written just after moving to BYU-I when I was roommate to three brothers. I felt like an outsider in this place that was meant to be my new home. The feeling also extended to campus and I didn't know how to express it or what to do.”
Surrounded by white, those who are just right.
Free in their confinement, wishing you could find concealment.
Standing apart as you look in, nothing able to lift your chin.
Seen, obvious, unique, wishing you could reach that peak.
Bathing in bleach, wishing more than anything to hide this pitch fleece.
But deep down in your sleep, you know you are this black sheep.
In the Window
“This was written shortly after moving to BYU-I and realizing that I none of the girls I actually talked to seemed to care or want to talk to me. These same feelings had been going on for a while in my life in a previous YSA ward in Utah and my few dates. While this was originally started with the intent to be about dating it evolved into my insecurities of not being seen by those around me.”
Is this all? This lonely window?
Looking out, hoping someone will pick you.
You cant help but wonder if its you.
Are you broken? Ugly? Unlovable?
Is this all? The lonely window?
Bright lights passing by without a second glance.
Your heart aching, hoping,
pleading they will give you a chance.
Is this all? This lonely Window?
Please, take a chance. Take a leap.
I’m not just some black sheep.
I’m a person who needs. So please.
Can You Even See Me?
“This was written shortly after moving up to BYU-I and feeling like the same feelings I had experienced all my life of not being seen would continue here and just hoping that people might see me.”
You all walk past like I am grime.
Not even giving me the time.
You dont even know who I could be.
Can you even see me?
Suddenly its like I’ve been surrounded by fire.
Its happened, maybe this person has some desire.
But its gone in a flash, their heart not open to anything but cash.
Can you even see me?
I stand here smiling.
I sit here pretending.
I laugh here screaming.
Can you even see me?
Am I Wrong?
“This was written when I was considering my own thoughts toward gay, bi, and lesbian couples and some of the thoughts I have wondered.”
Standing here watching there
Am I wrong for wondering, for asking?
I believe and I trust but I wonder if this is just.
Why do I care, especially when this is all so bare?
Is it wrong, am I just a fool looking to belong?
Should I question, is that alright, especially when I feel for their plight?
Who am I to judge when I am in the midst of my own trudge?
Am I wrong?